Monday, November 27, 2006
I am a
I saw this on Skittle's blog and thought I would give it a try.
Apparently if I wasn't a cat I'd be a snapdragon. I have tried eating them and they don't taste too good. I like eating grass and I especially love rubbing my face in catnip. Then I run round and round the garden till I drop. Now that's my idea of a party.
Nearly all the trees are bald now. The plane trees and the cherry tree have no leaves and the wood pigeons have disappeared. The damsons have one or two leaves hanging on tenaciously and the old pear tree had one brownish pear dangling precariously off the end of a long thin branch. Then that was gone too - I blame the cheeky squirrels.
Speaking of which. I spent all Saturday morning (in the dry bits between the downpours) chasing those rambunctious squirrels out of the garden. Just as I was thinking "Job well done!", I see the girl human feeding the blasted things with pecan nuts and encouraging them.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother with these people
Frustrated Faz xx
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
2. Cat Ballou (cowboy cats in cowboy hats)
3. Cat People (strange cats)
4. The AristoCats (posh cartoon cats)
5. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (cats in the deep south)
6. Bird Man of Alcatraz (geddit?)
7. Octopussy (love that new Bond, shame he's not a cat!)
8. What's New Pussycat (60s cats)
9. Josie and the Pussycats (cool cartoon cats)
10. The Cat and the Canary (1939 version not 1979)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
There's pawprints on pillows and wet fur on my head
There's mud in the kitchen and pawprints on floors
There's mud on the counters and on cupboard doors
I want to go out but it's to doggone wet
So I think I'll lay down and just sleep lots instead
A poem by Faz
I am shocked! Does anyone out there know if this is true?
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
All my American friends tell me it's
Thanksgiving this Thursday.
5 things I give thanks for:
1. LLM (luscious little mice)
2. My beautiful garden in Wimbldeon (and Wimbledon Common where I roam)
3. My favourite blog sites -Skittle's Place and Cat Blogosphere
4. The fact that I am beautiful and furry
5. Humans with tin openers
Thought you might like to see where I live. The two big trees with the path running down the middle are my main turf and then all the gardens going to the right (which you can't see) also belong to me. The cheeky squirrels and strutting wood pigeons (with the white collars) live in the the two big trees you can see near the middle of the picture. Braer fox lives bottom right with his foxy wife but they pretty much stay in their lair during the day and don't come out until late at night. Prickly hedgehog and all the Luscious Little Mice live in that area too (but this time of year prickly hedgehog is asleep under the compost heap).
This picture was taken in summer. At the moment there are hardly any leaves left on the trees and the ones that are left are golden brown.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
2. A girl human spends, on average, three times longer per visit than a boy human, yet there are usually the same number of toilets in each public convenience.
3. The Queen of England has to have a new toilet seat everywhere she visits. It is then destroyed if she "goes".
4. Cats dig a hole and then bury their mess. This is extremely environmentally friendly and means they can go just about anywhere.
Once again, I have proved that cats are superior.
Love Faz ]
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
There are two things about humans I just don't get.
1. Why do they spend so much time trying to find me when they don't really want me?
The amount of times the humans spend looking around the house and calling me back from the Common just to check I am okay. What do they think I am - a human child with no ability to look after myself?
For example, I was asleep the in washing machine the other day cos it was nice and warm. They started calling and calling and eventually I managed to wake up from my dream about an LLM (luscious little mouse) and popped my head out to see what all the ruckus was about. When they saw me they acted like I was the prodigal cat, made me get out of the wonderfully warm washing machine for some reason, then didn't even bother to feed me.
2. Why do they get so upset about me trying to follow them when they leave home?
For instance, when they go to catch their train in the mornings, I walk along behind them for three for four blocks just to keep them company and check out where they are going. Usually I yowl, just to let them know I am there. When they turn around and see me they get all flustered and insist on taking me home.
To cut a long story short, why do they always want me when I am not around and then don't want me when I am?
Confused of Wimbledon
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Another night mouse hunting on the Serengeti, well Wimbledon Common actually, but that's by the by. Looks a bit like the Serengeti at dawn though, don't you think?
Anyway, really upset the girl human this morning, although it wasn't deliberate. Caught another mouse around 4 am and brought it inside to eat it. Because I am on a diet and because I am a Caring Cat who looks after its humans, I left a bit behind to share with them. The head and kidney from memory.
Anyway the girl human gets out of bed at 6 am to get ready for work and steps on the remains. What a palaver! Screaming, shouting, verbal abuse
That is the very last time I bring them a present.
Which got me thinking. Not only are cats superior to dogs, they are also clearly superior to humans as well.
10 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Humans
1. Cats can catch their own supper without help
2. Cats don't need to wear clothes
3. Cats can lick themselves clean (ever seen a human try that - doesn't really bear thinking about?)
4. Cats have a good sense of smell (it was quite clear the mouse was beside the bed)
5. Cats can see in the dark (ditto my comment above)
6. Cats have better hearing (therefore, there is no need to scream so loudly after standing on said mouse)
7. Cats have four legs
8. Cats can jump higher and run faster
9. Cats don't need to use those stupid water closet things
10. Kittens are cute, baby humans look like pink slugs
Once again, I have proved my point.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Very hectic weekend. Was out Friday night on the tiles as usual and managed to catch myself a rather delicious LLM (luscious little mouse). Took it inside to show the humans and, as predicted, they went into freefall panic and made me drop it.
LLM ran under the sofa and seemed rather pleased to have escaped my unwanted attentions. With the extra weight I'd put on lately I was unable to get under the sofa to get it back (maybe the humans are right about that diet). The humans then spent the next 24 hours trying to find the little blighter so they could let it go into the outside world.
Well, LLM would come out every couple of hours or so and sit there as bold as brass washing it's little face and paws or looking for crumbs left behind by the humans. Everytime they spotted it, the humans would try and catch it in order to save it from little ol' me. They would go into a panic with towels, torches, pieces of cheese, humane mousetraps etc. (and are clearly devoid of any stalking skills). What a laugh, they kept me amused for hours.
Anyway in the end they went to bed and I did what I do best. Nuff said.
Just so you know, there was no sign of braer fox this weekend (although it was rather cold and I did spend most of the weekend indoors or asleep on the bed). I did spot a rather hefty tabby strolling nonchalantly through my garden on Sunday. Don't mind hefty tabby using the garden occasionally as long as it doesn't start to stake a claim.
Friday, November 03, 2006
I have been watching from my sentry post all night and no sign of braer fox. It's been fairly cold and there was frost on the ground this morning, so I was surprised at all the activity. I have seen:
4 wood pidgeons (have you seen the size of those things - now they would make a good meal if only I could get one through the cat flap - trust me, I've tried)
5 other little birds
1 arrogant mouse (but I was not fooled into leaving my station)
6 cheeky squirrels (at least I think it was six of them, it could have been the same one six times)
Speaking of cheeky squirrels, they must keep getting pears from the next garden over and eating them in my garden when I am not around. There is pear skin everywhere and it does make quite a mess. I don't understand why the humans don't get cross about this cos when I leave bird feathers everywhere they get really, really angry and go all red in the face and throw their arms about (hence the reason I am now encumbered with two large bells on my collar).
Anyway, around 7 am I go in for breakfast, jump up on to the kitchen window for a quick wash before resuming my post and who do I see run across the garden? That cunning, conniving, calculating, mouse stealing, braer fox.
Braer fox I'm watching you!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
By the time I got outside there was no sign of braer fox but there was a definite whiff of fox in the air. Tomorrow, I will make sure not to leave my post.
Now, in the interests of educating all of you about the superiority of cats, here is something exciting I learned on the internet. The cat (of which I am one of the more superior examples) was first domesticated 4000 years ago and was held in high admiration and esteem by the Ancient Egyptians.
Two points on this worth noting:
1. Why have we been held in high esteem for only 4000 years? Humans can be a bit slow.
2. If humans think they domesticated us, then we have fooled them. We actually domesticated them. I mean look at how the word is spelt - 'domestiCATed'!
Apparently, Mafdet was the first Egyptian feline deity but the most famous cat goddess in the world was Bastet. There were cats who lived in temples who were the 'embodiment' of Bastet and they were served upon and taken care of until they died, then they were 'mummified' and treated with much dignity and reverence. I have no idea what 'mummified' means but I bet it's pretty impressive.
I was thinking of leaving this exciting information around for my humans to read. I have to say, sometimes I think they take me for granted.
Purr Purr Purr
Good morning friends.
Apologies, it appears I got a couple of important facts wrong in my 10 Reasons Cats Are Better Than Dogs blog yesterday. Thanks to all my kind supporters for pointing this out to me.
xError 1 - cats ALSO come in a variety of shapes and sizes.
I was reminded by quite a few friends that there are tigers and lions et cetera, however, I think this just goes on to prove my point anyway - as tigers and lions are clearly vastly superior to any kind of dog I can think of.
xError 2 - (and I have to tell you this one shocks me) apparently their are some furry felines out there that DO drink out of the toilet bowl.
YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! Needless to say I would never consider such an option whilst there were humans around. After all, what they don't know won't hurt them.
Anyway on to the important topic of the day - MY LIFE.
Had quite a disturbing morning. I was sticking my head out the cat flap about 6 am (I was keeping my body inside as it was about 3 degrees in Wimbledon this morning) and who is walking across my garden but none other than braer fox. The nerve! Not only was he walking through my garden as bold as brass BUT he had one of my mice in his mouth. I know it was one of mine because it was gray and I own all the gray mice in Wimbledon.
When I confronted him with the evidence still in his mouth, he took one look at me, swallowed it with one gulp, and ran off under the fence smiling. I am furious! Who does he think he is!
Tomorrow I am going to lie in wait and show him who is top cat around here.